I can't even...
This was like the screen play for a porn. It was written very much like a children's book. All of the characters are one dimensional/cardboard cut outs that don't really seem to have any feelings. And, of course, Fiona has sex with just about every one she meets (multiples at a time), including a troll. This was about 44 pages long and I paid $.99 for it, which was too much.