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Five Minute Man

Five Minute Man: A Contemporary Love Story - Abbie Zanders

I thought I would like this.  I started out liking it.  The hero and heroine were interesting and seemed like common sense people.  The hero, Adam, seemed a little prissy and prudish with his mental list of attributes his perfect woman should have.  The heroine, Holly, is a writer and seemed like she could bring him out of his prissy/prudish behavior.  After some "unofficial dates", he kisses her and then runs off because of the feelings it causes him to have.  And then all the sudden it was like they had personality transplants.  Holly shows up the YMCA for a yoga lesson with her friend, Liz, with the intention of "accidently" running in to Adam because he hasn't called since the kiss.  She sees him speaking with a woman, Eve, who is acting very familiar and overhears him tell Eve that "it was a business meeting" when Eve asks about his seeing another woman.  So, Holly thinks she's misinterpreted their time together and that he was just interested in her for her house (she owns an old stone cottage that needs renovation and Adam is a carpenter who specializes in renovating old homes).  What really happened is that Eve is the ex one-night-stand of the formerly prissy/prudish Adam and she's kind of psycho.  Adam knows Eve will give Holly a hard time if Eve finds out about Holly, so he downplayed his relationship with Holly.  And it spirals out of control from there.

Adam keeps trying to get in touch with Holly and she will only respond via text or not at all.  She finally answers the phone one time and tells him she's sorry, but she's not in a financial situation to do any work on her home currently, but she'll keep him mind.  Adam then corners Holly's friend Liz at the YMCA to ask if she knows what is going on.  Liz doesn't want to betray Holly's confidence, but she sees how miserable they both are, so she tells Adam what she knows and convinces him the way to get to Holly is to be her "five minute man" (which is explained earlier as a man in a romance novel who gave the heroine an orgasm within five minutes).  So, Adam shows up at Holly's house and proceeds to turn "alpha".  They appear to have unprotected sex, despite Adam having admired Holly initially for her common sense and self-awareness (glancing under her car and around her before entering her car, for example).  This goes on for a couple of weeks with something like 10 orgasms a day because Adam is so "alpha".  Neither of them mention Eve at all and I don't understand how Holly could let that go after seeing them together at the Y and overhearing part of their conversation.  They basically just ignore the whole Eve thing.  Eve shows up at Holly's house and threatens Holly.  Holly never tells Adam about it, but she tells Liz.  Liz has some experience with Eve and warns Holly that she's dangerous, but doesn't give her any details.  Eve calls Adam and threatens Holly, but Adam never mentions it to Holly.  Holly's dog inexplicably gets sick.  Holly gets two flat tires from nails.  None of this clicks for Holly that it could be related to Eve.  Adam suspects, but doesn't say anything.  They just continue to have sex and 10 orgasms a day because Adam is so "alpha" that he can't handle his ex one-night-stand in a forthright manner.

Then Adam thinks he should say something, but wants to do it in person, so he leaves a voice mail for Holly to be careful that day, stay close to home, that he has something he wants to tell her and to call him when she gets the message.  Next thing you know, there is an explosion at an out building on Holly's property and she is hurt.  During this time, Eve calls Adam and asks him to meet her for a drink.  He eventually agrees because he's a dumb ass.  She has a drink waiting for him when he gets to the bar.  It's drugged.  And, of course, he drinks it.  She then proceeds to take him home with her and rape him while taking pictures that she sends to Holly from Adam's phone.  Eventually, Liz tells Holly that Eve did the same thing to her brother.  Because that wouldn't have been useful information the first time Liz mentioned to Holly that Eve was dangerous, right?

There is no dealing with the aftermath of Adam's rape.  It just happens.  He moves on.  Some legal proceedings happen and Eve is sent to a psychiatric center (not for the first time).  Six months happen.  Holly writes a story about her time with Adam and gives it to him as a Christmas gift - her first contact with him since the explosion/rape.  It's titled "Five Minute Man" and the last page of the story ends with "To be determined..."  So, Adam shows up at Holly's house with a ring and proposes.  She accepts.  The epilogue tells what happens nine months later.  Holly is pregnant and overdue for delivery, but she's at a book signing for her "Five Minute Man" book because it was a huge success.

I really wanted to like this.  I thought that I would during the beginning.  And then all the characters got really stupid and I was SO disappointed.  I don't like to leave bad reviews.  Usually I just leave a few yay/nay comments.  But, this was just WTF for me.

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